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Instead they just ‘transfer’ and assume that new surroundings and a clean slate means problem solved, as if to suggest that they had no contribution and have nothing to learn.
It’s also safe to say that the people that they overlap you with have no clue.
Ultimately don’t lose sight of why your relationship wasn’t working as it’s all too easy to forget the reasons and make this new person and this idea of you being ‘rejectionable’ the reason.
All that’s going to do is ensure that even though you haven’t moved on, that Hi, I’m Natalie!
Some people need to have their ego stroked elsewhere when they experience relationship problems.
It gives them reassurance because getting attention and possibly the offer of another relationship from someone else gain any insights from their relationships.
It’s like it can’t be because they don’t feel the same way anymore or about incompatibility; the other party practically has to be a serial killer before they’ll leave.
Or it’s the ‘ole “Well they’re not beating/cheating..” When they can’t ‘villainise’ the person and in fact, this person is even trying to people please the hell out of them or fighting hard for the relationship, overlapping becomes their go-to exit strategy because they can either claim guilt and finally have a ‘legitimate’ reason to exit or the other person will be putting the pressure on for them to move on. Let’s be real, some people don’t do ‘being alone’ very well.
If they’re habitual, you won’t be the only one although bear in mind that they may try to fudge the numbers…
Whoever they overlapped with may feel flattered now and be enjoying the honeymoon glow but they don’t realise that your average overlapper and cheater is demonstrating that when faced with problems and conflict, they don’t do problem solving.
Eventually they may find themselves being overlapped too.
If the possibility of breaking up hasn’t been discussed, at least one of you is thinking about it.
The overlapper may justify their actions by claiming that the relationship was “practically over” or claiming that they told you they needed space.
The Geelong – Surfcoast Regional Veterans’ Centre is a non-profit organisation staffed by volunteers and is a member of the Regional Veteran Centres Project (RVCP).